he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
