this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Randomize
