everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
