and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
