There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
