mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
