he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
