Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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