I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
