Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
