i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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