where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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