Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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