It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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