How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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