margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
