I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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