GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
