i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
