Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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