I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
