turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
