You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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