2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I want to make a zoo with you.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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