I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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