I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i believe in u and ur pee
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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