Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
