what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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