how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
