At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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