ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
