If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
