If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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