I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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