so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
