Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
