8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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