Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
