Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
