When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
