Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
