do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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