Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
