Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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