is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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