is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
