sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We are all done wearing pants today
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
