i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
