You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
