Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
