she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
if only i could text you this smell
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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